There is nothing fun or comfortable about puberty (hot take, I know). And the fact that you have to go through it in middle school is like the universe just adding salt to the wound. While catty middle school girls and clueless boys make cruel “jokes” during this entirely awkward time, tweens often rely on the support of their parents. But one 13-year-old girl on the Reddit AITA thread did not get that support from her mom, and our hearts are going out to her.
She shared with the internet that her parents are divorced, and she splits her time with her mom, her dad, and her dad’s longtime girlfriend Mary.
A little while ago, this teen’s breasts started growing, and she didn’t have a bra. She felt understandably uncomfortable, especially when her nipples were visible when she would wear a thin t-shirt (“like during PE class”) or when she was cold.
“Some of my classmates even started noticing it, and it was embarrassing,” she wrote. “I don’t want everybody to be able to stare at my breasts.”
She went to her mom and asked to go bra shopping, but her mom said there was no need since her breasts “are still very small.” Wow. Mom really “dropped the ball,” the internet agreed.
So the next time this girl was at her dad’s house, she asked him for money and asked Mary if she would go bra shopping.
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“I didn’t want to ask dad to go and help me choose one because I thought it would be weird,” she said. “Mary agreed and helped me buy three different bras which are great. I’m much more comfortable during PE classes and in general.”
Well now her mom is mad, insisting that her daughter had no right to ask for Mary’s help, especially since she — her own mother — had shut the idea down.
“She says that I am doing things behind her back,” the girl wrote. “I didn’t want to, but I didn’t want to wait a few months because I needed a bra now because I had a problem with going to school.”
So this teen wants to know, is she the a-hole for going behind her mom’s back? The answer from Reddit is an unequivocal “NO.”
“Your mom is out of line for not agreeing to take you to get bras when YOU asked,” one person said. “What were you to do? I’m glad you have the kind of relationship with Mary where you felt you could ask for help.”
Is Mom more upset about the bras, or the fact that Mary was the one to support her daughter? One commenter said she must be “embarrassed that another woman jumped in to fill her place.”
“She’s definitely insecure that someone’s helping OP out of this bizarre power play,” someone said. “OP, your body, your rules, and NTA.”
And, we wonder, would she have had the same reaction if Dad had been the one to go bra shopping? Let’s not forget, he was the one to [rightfully] fund this trip.
Several commenters shared possible reasons for the mom’s reaction, saying she probably didn’t notice her daughter’s developing body, or she didn’t want to notice it because it’s a reminder that her baby girl is growing up. It’s not a fair excuse, but apparently, it’s common. So many people jumped on the “first bra story bandwagon” to say their moms waited so long and underestimated their bra size.
“Other side of the spectrum: my grandmother said I needed a bra for ‘those bee stings that have gotten out of control’ (yes, verbatim) and sent me back to my dad with a $50 gift card to Victoria’s Secret,” one commenter said. “Thanks, Grandma?”
And guess what? This situation isn’t reserved for bras. One person even shared that her mom was insistent that she didn’t need glasses. She must have only wanted them “to look cool.”
“Lo and behold, my eyes were -1.25 and -1.5. Still annoyed about this after 20 years.”
The whole situation is truly so sad. This teen felt uncomfortable enough at school and then had to go through the awkward motions of asking her mom for a bra. She was denied, so she then had to ask again, and from someone she definitely isn’t as close with.
“Your mom should understand that you feel exposed, and a bra will help you feel better/safer/covered,” one user wrote. “Your [dad’s girlfriend] helped you solve a problem. If you discuss this further with mom, point out that your peers AND OTHERS are sexualizing your body as it’s developing and you want to be proactive and stay safe.”
Then Mom has the audacity to make her daughter feel bad about it? A move that ultimately made this teen look to the internet (where people are known for being even meaner than middle schoolers!) for validation. And she felt the need to describe her body to justify her reasoning. How terrible! Now people are just hoping this girl doesn’t end up in the same position once she hits another puberty “milestone.”
“If OP hasn’t started having periods, I hope she’s at Dad’s when it kicks off,” one Redditor said. “If Mom is that weird about bras, I wouldn’t want to find out how she handles OP drawing first blood.”
Before you go, check out these wild stories about Reddit’s most horrific mother-in-laws.
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