When someone is rude to you, it can really ruin your day.
Was it something you did? Are they just mean-spirited? By the time you’ve recovered from the sorry situation, the damage has been done.
But therapist Kimberly Moffit has taken to TikTok to share her top tips to deal with someone who is rude to you.
The Canadian relationship therapist has a doctorate in psychology and says her three tips will make the offender ‘wish they’d never spoken to you’ and ‘make them walk away with their tail between their legs.’
So how is it done?
Ignore your Amygdala response
This is the fight or flight response.
Kimberly says that when someone is rude to us, we tend to have a physical reaction.
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‘All of a sudden your body starts to escalate, your palms get sweaty, your heart starts racing, your pupils dilate,’ she said.
She says that we either walk away, or get angry, and prepare to fight back – but we shouldn’t be doing either of these things.
‘You’re going to take a deep breathe, you’re not going to say anything,’ says Kimberly. ‘This makes them feel deeply unsettled and puts them off their game right off the bat,’ she said.
Use the Tom Cruise method
For this next step, Kimberly takes inspiration from Tom Cruise.
When the actor was walking a red carpet, someone sprayed water in his face. Rather than getting angry, he began to ask questions, wondering if the attacker was okay, and querying why he took such an action.
‘Asking questions calls out the behaviour and brings attention to how ridiculous it is, making them look stupid,’ she said.
‘At this point of the interaction they will feel shame.’
Only do this with your body
Kimberly explains that people are rude because they are looking for a dopamine hit – but you have the ability to deprive them of this.
She explains: ‘When they unload on you it makes them feel really good… especially if they see you physically deflate.’
Kimberly directs her followers to turn away from the rude person, palms open, which asserts dominance.
She says this deprives the rude person of the dopamine hit and they get ‘zero satisfaction.’
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