Jade Roper Tolbert is getting candid about motherhood frustrations and parenting a newborn.
The 34-year-old Bachelor in Paradise alum welcomed son Reed Harrison on Nov. 14, her third child (she also shares daughter Emerson "Emmy" Avery, 3, and sons Brooks Easton, 18 months, with husband Tanner Tolbert). On Friday, Roper Tolbert shared an honest Instagram post, in which she told her followers she's hit a "wall."
"Eleven weeks of no sleep and to be honest, I don't want to mom today," she writes alongside a selfie. "Yet, here I am right now typing this and having a kids electric toothbrush thrown in my face (literally), turning it on and off for the 1,000,000th time because it makes Brooks happy— and only 'mama' can turn it on and off."
"I've become more resilient this time around to letting the little expectations go, but the sleep deprivation during the newborn stage is brutal and I've hit my wall," she continues. "The intrusive thoughts and negative self talk I've been able to keep at bay are wearing me down this week."
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Roper Tolbert adds that she feels "exhausted" after "trying all avenues to figure out breastfeeding issues," and she's been having vertigo bouts to the point "where I feel I can't function enough to be a good mom."
"I know I will survive this as I have before, but I feel so far down the rabbit hole today," adds the mom. "I love my kids and I know they love me, but some days the love feels so big and overwhelming that I'm not enough to withhold it and these emotions spill out."
Last month, Roper Tolbert opened up on Instagram about battling a "dark depression" for six months after Brooks' sudden birth at home, which she previously recounted as traumatic.
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"Some days I really struggle with what content to share on here. Someone messaged me yesterday saying that they were going to unfollow me because of all my complaining about motherhood since Reed was born, and that I need to be the person I was when it was just Emmy and Brooks," wrote Roper Tolbert at the time.
She went on to add: "I'm fumbling through, learning as I go and leaning in as I get to know my baby and the new versions of my children and husband as they evolve and adapt and grow as well. I guess I share the imperfect moments in hopes of reaching across a social platform and sparking a human connection."
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